Chit-Chat is Chit-Chat

I was sitting in the hot tub today at the gym, listening to a couple of guys talking about which high-end hotels in Singapore and Thailand had the best gym. It was small talk, with a certain performance of their identity and status. Amazing to listen to how the details of the conversation led to a rather involved conversation. Change the details and they could have been two actors talking about which theatres have better dressing rooms, or two financial advisors talking about which mutual funds might have a better return, or even two grandparents discussing the exploits of their grand children.

On one hand, the essence of such aconversation is comparison. The shared information helped each person get a better understanding of their individual reality. It helps them determine if they are doing or not doing the right thing in their given role. It is a potentially dangerous move away from Self. I've become aware of how my own comparing mind is not very useful when it comes to experiencing reality.

On the other hand, the information was irrelevant. Such a conversation is just a vehicle for relationship. When the two gentleman got to the subject of cold pool and their aversion to it, I tried to jump in and recommend that shocking the muscles really aided relaxaton. I spoke my words with an emphatic enthusiasm to ad validity to my opinion. I was included in the conversation briefly, before the men continued speaking among themselves. I don't think I was really wanted in the conversation. Perhaps I had intruded in upon their relationship. Perhaps my own comparison, embedded in my recommendaton, disrupted their reality.

And then I got to thinking again about the similarity of all conversations. It is so easy to get caught up in a particular reality. Work, hobby and family conversations create a perspective. Each perspective, forming a community with it's own borders. We easily become invested within those borders. Because I move through so many different communities, I'm questioning the reality of those borders and the seriousness of those perspectives. They all seem false and fragile. There's a much deeper reality below the surface talk. Chit-chat is chit-chat. What is it like to engage in conversation from the depths of one's Self with an Other? I suspect that it feels something like love. How's the saying go, "Love needs no words."