Questioning Gifts & Giving Questions

Just finished the first full week of rehearsals on Humble Boy. Ken, our director, has done a very good job of creating a relaxed and open atmosphere to stimulate creativity. At the same time, he's very specific about what he wants. An actor himself, he offers a lot of great ideas to try out. These gifts have been very useful in helping me ground some of my actions and moments of my character.

But these gifts also frustrate me as an actor. It makes me go, "I wish I had thought of that first." I know when my choices aren't working, but I don't always have an immediate idea for a better solution. So I easily accept Ken's gift and use it. Maybe after I play with that idea for awhile, it will feel like my own or it will lead to something else that is my own. Using his gifts certainly speeds up the rehearsal process and open up my creativity in a certain way. But I wonder if they also shut off a deeper connection to my creativity.

Gifts, in general, are funny things - they are as much about the giver as they are the receiver. Gifts are also used to form relationships through a mutual sense of obligation. It it very rare that gifts are given completely free. Receiving these acting gifts from a director operate similarly. There's an obligation to try it and to please the director.

I find myself in a similar position often when teaching. As the teacher, I tend to be more aware than my students and I use that awareness to support their growth. I often give them ideas to stimulate their creativity and explore more choices. The student then finds him or herself in the position of feeling obligated to please the teacher by using the idea.

It seems to me that gifts which are ideas or solutions reflect the giver's understanding, but don't really aid the reciever in making the discovery. The receiver may be able to use the idea, but confronted with a similar situation in their creative process again, won't know how to proceed.

As a teacher, I always encourage my students to find their questions to guide them. But I should also be applying this more deeply in my dialogue with them. Questions will aid them in discovering the path, to learn not just a solution, but a new creative path.

Answers are not free. They are limited by the giver's perspective. A free gift is a question - for it can unfold in any direction.